What are the feelings and situations that make you look outside of yourself to cope?
If I know I’m going have a day of being social I’ll drink caffeine to help me feel energized and more sociable.
If I’m going to a party with strangers I’ll drink a glass of wine to help me get looser.
If I’m getting stressed at work, I’ll start snacking on almonds.
If I don’t want to sit down to write a blog post I’ll find something that needs cleaned in the house.
Some of these things are more socially acceptable than others but they’re all methods of avoidance. Avoidance of doing a necessary task, avoidance of feeling awkward or unsociable, avoiding stress.
Vices keep us from doing the hard work of being present and showing up for life. It’s our responsibility to be aware of our vices so we can understand what emotions and events make us want to numb ourselves and disconnect. Turning to substances to make us a feel a certain way is disempowering. It’s saying “I can’t be this kind of person unless I have this thing.” It’s not giving ourselves the opportunity to dig deep and see how we can pull up those feelings when we need them.
Instead of avoidance and going outside of ourselves we can turn inward and reflect on how we can cope and behave differently. Asking the right questions can help us come up with our own answers.
Look at the circumstances that make you want to reach for that vice. The glass of wine, the bag of potato chips, the busy schedule. Sit with it. What are you avoiding? Start asking yourself questions and finding your own answers
How can I be sociable without coffee? What helps me be sociable?
How can I be sociable and let loose at a party without alcohol?
What causes me stress at work? What are other ways I can cope with it?
How can I prevent from distractions so I can continue to move towards my goals? What’s preventing me from doing the work that moves me closer to my goals?
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