The Words Used For Others Are Used For Yourself

There’s a person in my life that I’ve referred to as idiot. When I saw him the first I think is here comes the village idiot. I’m embarrassed to admit these unkind thoughts but I’d like to think I’m not the only one that has felt triggered by someone to call them a name. We hear unkind names being used on people all the time. He’s a player. That bitch. She’s such a slacker. What an asshole. The unkind things that we say about others we say about ourselves.  We only judge others harshly because we’ve judged ourselves just as harshly.  I’ve called myself an idiot plenty of times so it’s easy to turn around and call someone else an idiot.

Be aware of the words you use to describe others and reflect if you have used those words when you talk to yourself. Many times we use words to universally describe someone (or ourselves) when it’s really a moment that they may have done something careless or mean but it’s not a word that defines their character. It’s important to describe the action they did as mean, careless, etc… but be aware it’s not who they are as a person. The same holds true for ourselves. We may have moments when we are unkind or careless but it’s not how we define ourselves.

There’s value in softening and restating how we describe others. Instead of that bitch it’s what she did was unkind. Instead of asshole it’s that guy was really inconsiderate. That shift helps to dial down a negative attitude we have towards someone. I’ve changed my attitude towards the man I called idiot. I don’t understand how he makes decisions and I can still respect him as a person and appreciate aspects of his personality.

Be aware of the names you call others and yourself. Choose your words wisely.