Avoidance Is Not A Coping Strategy

Avoidance has been my number one coping strategy for uncomfortable situations and the difficult people I’ve encountered. I’ve come to realize that avoidance is a short-term strategy  but it’s not a long term strategy for coping and here’s why:

It’s delaying the inevitable
Avoiding mirrors and social media was the strategy I used to help quiet my inner body critic. It works for my home life where I have more control but not outside of the home. The real world is full of mirrors and I have to confront my inner body critic every time I look at a mirror.  The time I’ve spent avoiding mirrors hasn’t helped me for the times that I have to face them.

Instead, I’ve decided to seek out the things I’m avoiding and decide how I want to respond and behave in those situations.  I’m not always in control of my environment and I realized I need a better coping strategy for those moments when  I have to face the things that ignite my inner body critic.  I can allow my inner body critic to start with the negative dialogue and acknowledge it without having to beliefs the thoughts.

It’s a missed opportunity to set boundaries
I’ve been known to give the silent treatment when I’m upset with someone. Instead of confronting the behavior that upset me, I’m good and giving the cold shoulder. Behaving this way has avoided me an opportunity to communicate and articulate with others what’s bothering me. If I could address the issue it would be an investment in opening the lines of communication and strengthening my relationships.

Setting boundaries is an alternative to avoidance. Avoidance can be cowering away from an uncomfortable situation but it doesn’t make the situation go away. Setting boundaries is an empowering way to confront those uncomfortable situations and people and set some rules so to preserve your mental health and let others know what your boundaries are.

Learning from a period of avoidance
There was a time I got off all my social media accounts and it gave me time and attention to reflect on what role I wanted social media to play in my life. I started asking myself questions like how can I use it in a way that offers me value? How can I provide guardrails for myself with using social media so that it’s not a negative influence on my life? I got back on social media with clarity on the role I wanted social media to play in my life.
The space you give yourself with avoidance can provide valuable insight into how that thing/person/event is impacting you and your life. Time away from that thing gives you time to reflect on how you want that thing and what role and relationship you want it to have in your life.

What are you avoiding? Is there another way of coping? Could the avoidance be causing you comfort in the short term but more pain in the long term? If you confronted it, what would it look like?